Craft Boner: An Exclusive Interview

We ‘sat’ down with one of Postable’s most clever designers to get the behind the scenes take on Kiwi Schloffel’s life. Kiwi Schloffel is the brains & brawn behind Craft Boner – a stationery company with the singular goal of making people laugh big ‘ol belly laughs. She draws and letters every card by hand and when she’s not doodling you can find her watching true crime, browsing thrift stores or ranking various establishments by the quality of their nacho cheese. Check out Craft Boner’s entire Postable card collection.

1. What’s your favorite book? 

All time favorite is an impossible pick but my favorite book I’ve read recently is “Her Body and Other Parties” by Carmen Maria Machado. It’s creepy and haunting and feels like a gorgeous woven tapestry of being a woman in the 21st century.  

2. Favorite movie? 

I’ve probably watched “To Wong Foo” more than 200 times. It’s definitely 90s problematic but the costumes! The one liners! The sets! I absolutely adore it.

3. Favorite TV show? 

Parks and Rec will always be the show I can watch over and over and love but the first two seasons of Fargo might be the best TV I’ve ever watched. 

4. Favorite song? 

“Timber” by Pitbull & Kesha is my ultimate hype song but “Watermelon Sugar” is certainly a close second. This should be embarrassing for me but I think I’ve forgotten how to be embarrassed. 

5. Favorite food?

Nacho cheese. Hands down. I rank various establishments by their nacho cheese. The best comes from those gross plastic pumps you see at carnivals and 7-11. I will die on this hill. 

6. Drink of choice? 

Fresh lemonade with a sprig of mint makes me feel like a Golden Girl on vacation. 

7. Go-to karaoke song? 

I’ve never sang karaoke sober so I don’t remember any songs I’ve ever sung. Oops. 

8. When did you realize you wanted to be a designer? 

I sort of accidentally fell into it over and over and still don’t really consider myself a designer! I started my business with the goal of making people laugh and I suppose when I started hand lettering in 2013 that’s when I realized I wanted to make sure that the funny sentiments also looked good. It’s only been in the past year or two that I’ve really allowed myself to explore the more artistic side of designing cards and it feels like everything sort of clicked into place. 

9. Did you go to design school or teach yourself? 

I got a minor in graphic design in college and designed the college newspaper but my minor consisted of three or four design classes about Photoshop so I pretty much had to figure out how to do everything else myself. I took a hand lettering class a few years ago and discovered that I basically do all the fundamentals “wrong” but it works for me. That’s when I realized that you don’t necessarily need to know all the design rules before you break them. 

10. If you had to describe your style with only three words what would they be?

Quirky, loud, unexpected (I like to think it’s what Ms. Frizzle would make if she were a designer)

11. When did you start your company? 

I started in 2012 while living in my Dad’s basement like the ultimate millennial cliche. 

12. Where is your studio located? 

Sunny Denver, Colorado in a building with several other creatives in different fields. 

13. What’s your favorite card of yours on Postable? 

“Your penis is my favorite” will forever be a favorite! 

14. What artists, past or present, inspire your work? 

I love Andy J Pizza and Lauren Hom and Lisa Congdon but I typically find inspiration in 90s movies, vintage fast food memorabilia, thrift stores and silly stuff my friends say. 

15. When was the last time you laughed really hard and why? 

There’s an inflatable tube dancer thing outside of a cell phone shop on my way to and from work that gets me every time. 

16. How would you spend your dream Saturday? 

Exploring a new city for wacky attractions and experiences or just a day full of thrifting and crafting sounds pretty damn great too. 

17. If you weren’t allowed to work for 12 months, what would you do? 

I’d absolutely road trip around the US and stop at every single roadside attraction and maybe write a guidebook about them. Is that working? Even without the book I want to see every wacky bit of Americana I can before I die. 

18. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? 

There’s a place in the middle of Wisconsin called “The House on the Rock” and it’s chock-full of music machines and collectibles and absurdities and I’d live there in a heartbeat if they let me.  

19. How did you spend the extra time at home since the quarantine has been in effect?

I learned a few new hobbies but mostly I’ve just watched a lot of TV and complained about having to meal plan better.

20. Three words that describe your past year. 

Clarifying, exhausting, hopeful 

21. Your dream travel destination for the (hopefully near) future? 

Dollywood has been on my list for year

22. Any goals for 2021?

To have more fun in my day-to-day and to try to listen to myself more without second guessing. 

23. Favorite part of the holiday season? 

Crappy holiday rom-coms & over-the-top decorations for sure! 

24. Do you have any unusual holiday family traditions?

We were so boring, we’d go skiing on Christmas Day because we lived near a ski resort but otherwise we were entirely vanilla.

25. Was this questionnaire too long? 

I’m assuming I could probably talk about myself forever so nope!